What is sexuality?

When we use the term “sexuality,” we’re typically referring to feelings of sexual interest. Generally we think of people falling into one of three major categories of sexuality: heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bi-sexuality. One’s sexuality usually manifests around puberty, but questions about one’s sexuality can persist sometimes through late adulthood. Someone’s sexuality may or may not be reflected in his or her sexual activities, and when this is the case feelings of anxiety and discomfort often arise.



One’s sexuality can sometimes be difficult to see clearly.


Why do people have concerns over their sexuality?

Often when we hear about sexuality concerns, we think of homosexual people or people who are unsure about what their sexuality is or how to define it. And when living in a society that normalises heterosexuality and sees homo-, bi-, and asexuality (among many others) as non-normative, a person who falls into the latter categories may feel conflicted.

Some religions and subcultures find so-called “deviant” sexual behaviour unacceptable, and this can put increased pressure on gay, lesbian, bisexual, or asexual people to conform to what their group considers appropriate.

Heterosexual people can also feel concern regarding their sexuality, especially if they believe their desires are not normal or acceptable in their social circle. Additionally, feelings of anxiety regarding sexual performance or sexual rejection are frequent causes for concern.

Other causes for concern regarding sexuality can involve transgender people, who may find that their sexual desires don’t match their true gender identity.


sexuality_2Feelings of insecurity or ostracism can accompany revelations about one’s sexuality.


How can psychotherapy help me deal with my sexuality concerns?

Concerns about sexuality are often difficult to understand, as sexuality itself is still not well understood or easily categorised. A psychologist will help their patient examine his or her sexuality, and find out what factors (religion, family, social norms, etc) are causing the patient distress. Often, simply accepting one’s own sexuality will alleviate much of the stress a patient has been experiencing, even if it does not resolve issues with one’s family or religious group.

For issues regarding sexual insecurities, a psychologist can help the patient uncover the causes for his or her feelings of anxiety and resolve them, leading to improved confidence.


This seems like something that’s too difficult to talk about.

Because sexuality is such a personal issue, and often linked with the private act of sexual intercourse, it’s only reasonable that many people would feel uneasy discussing the details of their sexuality, particularly if they do not already have a good understanding of it themselves. However, at Restore Psychology, our caring and empathetic psychologists can offer you a safe, secure, and judgement-free environment to discuss these matters.


sexuality_3 Often acceptance of one’s sexuality can provide great relief.


Remember that you need only talk about what you’re comfortable sharing, and you certainly won’t be compelled to reveal all of your personal thoughts on your first visit – or ever. So I want to encourage you to come in and have a session to see how comfortable you feel discussing these personal matters with me. I have no greater goal that your mental and emotional well-being.

To begin the process, please contact me to set up an initial appointment today.